Yo, ho, ho, and a mini bottle of rum

Every single month I hit a point where I'm eating everything in sight and crying for no reason and then it dawns on me...oh....pms. Every month the same story....psychosis sets in and it takes forever for me to figure out there's a good reason for it. Not to be stereotypical but I have some of the worst symptoms. I turn into a lunatic. Tonight I had a rough time at work and felt like a horribly nasty bitch in general, and my two friends Joey and Amy somehow magically got me a teeny bottle of rum and a coke that was waiting for me when I got home from watching a movie. I pretty much cried. I'd just been saying before I left how much I wanted a rum and coke and then like magic...it appears! That's true friendship for you. Speaking of the movie. We went to see Coraline 3D. It was fabulous! There were terrier dogs that were both flying around in angel sweater-suits and ones that looked like bats. It was truly terrifying at some moments and shame on all the parents who not only had their kids at such a movie but at a 9:25 showing to boot. Um, when I was young my bedtime was 7pm on a school night, no exceptions.
I'm SO annoyed. The Amazing Racers are in Switzerland, where I've been before, paragliding (or whatever its called) off a mountain, that is something I totally wanted to do while I was there but couldn't. I need to marry a bazillionaire or become one myself. Preferably the latter, I'd feel really uncomfortable being reliant on someone else's money. And now they're going to Salzburg. Oh Salzburg...it's SO gorgeous. I spent my birthday there last year. I really need to move to Europe. See...crazy only gets crazier with the rum that's slowly being ingested.

Blog roll: Evidence that too much coffee is harmful

**Note: So I'm a little delayed in posting this. My apologies...it was last Thursday. The picture is the label from a bakery in Virginia. Hi-larious.

I am writing this while at school since I have a large break in between classes today. I just moved outside because the dungeon-esque interior of the cafeteria was not only dark but noisy as well. It's cold but it is a stunning day. The sky is incredibly blue and the smattering of cotton ball clouds seem to the take the shape of leviathan sea creatures frolicking around in a giant aquarium above our heads. I wore a skirt out of shear boredom with my jeans and if the sun weren't out I'd have frozen to my chair by now. It's the season for those snowy blossomed trees to bloom and being so high up I can see the circle of mountains that surround and they are so beautiful. People who hate L.A. are seriously disturbed. I'm sipping on two different coffees, one hot and one cold. I'll probably regret both of them midway through my 2hr and 25min class.

There is a great organization that my school called my attention to called Volunteers for Peace (vfp.org) It's for anyone who wants to go anywhere (almost) for 2 to 3 weeks to volunteer. The key selling point is how cheap it is. $300 covers almost everything, you just have to get yourself there. The best part about it is that there is something for everyone. If you want to work with orphans in India, handicapped people in Turkey, at a monastery in Switzerland, or at an archaeological dig in France...you can! I am seriously contemplating one of the India gigs. I'm not sure when I'll be able to make time for it but I feel compelled to go do something that involves more of me than just my checkbook. I don't grow or learn anything about myself by giving money. Worse even is that it's deducted from my checking account every month so I don't even have to do the act of making an effort every month. Oh, and if you don't know what I'm talking about, I support 2 kids in India through Compassion.com, as do a few of my friends. Just because it's not hands-on doesn't mean its not doing good, I just want to do more. Mostly because it scares me to death. It's my general philosophy that if something scares me (barring anything truly asinine) I should probably jump into it. If we only did things we were comfortable doing we'd never do anything because it's our nature to create the most comfortable environment possible. Our culture is so strange. We require kids to learn learn learn. Then once adulthood is reached its sort of taboo to not know what you're doing. Since when did it become a source of shame to say 'I don't know.' It's the 'I don't know' regions that become our unexplored territory. The place where the heart of the adventurer in all of us longs to go. If we know everything then whats the point? One of my professors asked us if we thought that all of the great discoveries had been made. I say no, but there is less obvious unexplored territory so many of us just accept how things are and try to fit ourselves in between all of the bits of life that have already been defined. one example is the interior of the earth. I had no idea, before I had to suffer through Geography, that we have no real concrete proof of what we are all walking around on. The genius method of constructing what we think we know is from recorded shock waves that get sent back to us whenever there's an earthquake. Different soundings supposedly represent different densities. Those waves could be bouncing off mountain-sized dinosaurs for all we know. Unlikely, but there was a point where people seriously believed the world was flat....it's all about historical perspective really.

One of my classes has been making me ponder how much our sight handicaps us. We rely heavily on our ability to see, to the detriment of our other senses. All of our issues with race pretty much come from our deficiency in looking past someones skin or hair color, etc. If we couldn't see then all that would exist is touch, smell, taste, and hearing. We'd be grouped into beings by those who can speak, how well we speak, what language....I suppose we'd find someway to discriminate sight or no sight. However we really need to start looking past our vision to see things a little more deeply. Even if we get past our pre-fab ideas about how someone looks will we really hear them because we're already too busy categorizing them somehow. Sight also hinders the idea of faith. We cannot see someone's energy, or God, or whatever. If we can't see it we can't believe it...it makes no sense. We rely so much on instinct or sensing energy without even realizing it. What makes us know when we're in danger, or being stared at, or when someone is interested in us, or the idea of 'gay-dar.' I'm not joking. Sometimes there's something almost tangible that you sense from another person. I feel you can get more and more attuned to these things if you just stop seeing so much with your eyes and start 'seeing' in other ways.

So, as you can see...I was on a roll, a blog roll, if you will. I actually had to work this weekend so it's now the next week already and 1am Tuesday to boot. Where does the time go? I have had writers block in regards to anything important. Maybe all my writing energy is being taken up by the masses of writing I have to do for my classes each week. It's annoying. That just means I need to step it up a bit. Focus. That is so hard to do. I dare not even whisper it but...I think tv is standing in my way. Which is dumb considering I have a DVR. I think if I forbid myself tv for the week I'd be amazed at all I'd get done. When I read this tomorrow I'll probably declare myself insane but it's late.

Oh the weather outside is frightful

I'm sitting here at 1:30am looking like a giant octopus because I got the fabulous idea to highlight my hair while I was at the grocery store earlier and I just now got to it. I finally sat down and went through my screenwriting book (Save the Cat by Blake Snyder...highly recommended) and followed its instructions. Without some sort of road map a script can end up trying to go from point A to point B and end up at Point U instead. I think we've all seen those movies that just go on and on and have seem to have no point. Anyway, I couldn't write anything else until I knew what I was missing.

It seems I have an endless supply of things to do. 19 credit hours is ending up to be a little more work intensive than I expected. I am busy for most of my waking minutes and when I'm not busy I probably should be doing something but am not.

I came to a realization the past couple of weeks. I don't want to date. I've been unconsciously looking for the next someone and it took being asked out by someone I might have actually dated for me to realize I'm not ready. I have no time, first of all. Anytime I have I need for everything I have going on, and distractions of that magnitude are unacceptable. I just feel like the next time I date someone I'll be closer to the person I want to become. Speaking of which...

The person I want to become is coming closer and closer to me. I'm trying a new thing where I cut out almost all refined sugar and breads/pastas/etc. It's working so fast! The weeks are flying by so before i know it its the weekend and I can have a cheat day. I also joined a co-op thing where you get fruits and veggies from a local farm once a week. It's all organic and an excellent way to support local farmers as well as eat a steady amount of fruits and veggies every week. The cost isn't alot in my opinion if you eat all your meals at home like I do. I got my first ration on Tuesday. It was fabulous. As I was munching on a raw carrot I realized I was fulfilling something I had always wanted to do. When I'm in Europe its a normal thing to get a bunch of fresh stuff from the grocery store and have a picnic, or just have a carton of berries for lunch. I always swear I'm going to do those kinds of things when I'm home and then I usually end up just stopping at Taco Bell. I just want to live the kind of life I want to live now, not someday.

PS. It's been raining non-stop until today. My poor puppies do not like to be wet. Oh, the pictures are me in DC and the Larchmont Farmers Market.