Finally settling in...

So I posted the old post late...so I'll continue here...

Last week was moving and interviewing and Thanksgiving. Julia decided to have the orphan Thanksgiving at her house this year. Quite a few friends were out of town but 13 people still came and I split dinner duties with Julia. Of course there were plenty of others who contributed amazing dishes... I had to be there early since the turkey was my responsibility as usual. Yams, like last year, seem to be the bane of our existence and two spills smoked us out of the house. My eyeballs will never be the same again. My 5 dollar turkey was the best one I have ever made and the rest of dinner was fantastic as well. We had a great time hanging out in the Tiki Bar at Julia's new little complex and had an after dinner game of Apples to Apples that was truly hilarious. Somehow the night went haywire and we ended up karaoking in Weho. I finally rolled home around 3am exhausted. It was a really nice time.

My end date for surviving last week was last night once I registered for school at 7pm. I have all the classes I need including the addition of my Paris transcript so I can skip a class. I keep getting these quick pangs of panic that there's something I should be doing or something that I've missed. I suppose it's just end of semester jitters. Last semester I completely forgot about a final and I'm not looking to repeat that anytime soon. I have two major French presentations next week, two papers, and those are before I have to start gearing up for finals. Regardless of my worries I'm sure it'll be fine once it's all said and done.

I'm slowly getting used to my new house. My first night was a little weird. I kept getting up to check random things, the bed wasn't so comfortable, and so on. The next nights were great. I adore my new mattress that my body doesn't half hang off of. The best part of the house is that I can relax finally and not worry that my every movement is disturbing the neighbors. I can play my TV as loud as I wish, I can let the dogs run around at 11pm without having to get after them, it's fantastic. I'm having my first little get together on Saturday before everyone leaves for the holidays. The tree is up with lights on and I nearly have all the debris put away and in it's proper place from the move. There have already been some fun nights of wine and cheese and conversation, and I feel really grateful.

'Adolf Hitler is always the answer...'

Life has been busy which has been fantastic for reminding me of just how much I can handle when it's required of me. I've been in lazy student mode for far too long. Mainly I had just been trying to survive French but with graduation looming it was time to step up the game. I have been continually reminded of how God sews everything together for you when you're on the right path. Big changes seem to come all at once, and everything started with a simple text message from a friend a little over a month ago that launched everything into high gear. The text was from a friend who rents a great house in the Studio City hills and she wanted to know if I wanted to take over her lease as she was moving out of state. After a few miracles and some negotiation I decided that it was an offer too good to not accept. The house is amazingly spacious in a really nice neighborhood approximately one mile where I live now. It has everything I could have wished for and more including a huge fenced backyard where the dogs can finally run free. My gracious friends came over on Monday and got the majority of my stuff moved in 5 trips. Tomorrow we move the furniture. Let's cross our fingers we girls can get the couch out of the house without it plummeting to the first floor. It's a grown up house for a grown up life and it finally gave me the space I needed to invest in a grown up girl bed. I'm excited!

After that unexpected surprise I have been focusing on figuring out how I'm going to pay the bills once I graduate. My new title of 'writer' has been helping me figure out what I might enjoy doing in the entertainment industry since PAing is not something I have any inclination to do. Film develoment and producing just kind of started to shove themselves in my face since that mostly has to do with script finding, rewriting, enhancing, etc. I also realized that if I wanted a job in entertainment even as assistant to a CEO that I would need some experience to put on my resume. The best way to do that is to intern. After a total scheduling fluke (read: miracle) cleared my Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays next semester I decided to start applying all over town for an internship in that field. My wish list for an internship included somewhere close to home, where people were really friendly and not at all 'Ari Gold', and maybe, just maybe, we wouldn't have to dress up every single day. The very first response I got had all of these things and after a quick interview they offered me the job on Wednesday. I accepted it immediately as they have done some crazy good movies and have been doing it for a long time. I am trying my best not to be intimidated and nervous. There was a time I pretty much ran the world at my old job and had no problem balancing a dozen things at once, but it has been a long time since so much was required of me. It is also intimidating to know I'll have to write for my job and have everything I write, read by the founders. Somewhere inside I am fearful that I'll suck. I'm just trying to remind myself that this isn't brain surgery and that when I interviewed for my old job I had no idea what they were talking about when they interviewed me and explained the job. I just knew that I needed the job and that I would learn what I needed to know. I'm trying to keep that in mind for this new adventure. Mostly I am lazy and the longer you sit, sequestered on your couch, the easier it is to forget how productive you used to be. I need to reawaken the side of me that adores being crazy busy, and now doing something I really love should only make it more sweet.

Do you want to play a game?

Even though I was stuffy and a little delirious I had SO much fun yesterday. Well, after the heinous French Civilization midtermI had to take, I had fun. Matty texted me on my way home from school to come over and play video games. When I got to the house he was ridiculously excited and asked if I wanted to go on a treasure hunt. Of course I did! He had found some sort of Redbull hunt on Facebook where the company had hidden cases of their new shots all over the country. You follow the clues to various locations and you get to keep the cases you find. Easy right? Yeah, not so much. We drove over to Burbank and stopped for clue number one. The case was supposedly hidden behind the bus stop on Olive and Maple. I spent most of the entire time worrying that we were going to be arrested by studio security, while we both were very aware of how ridiculous we looked loitering near the bustop while Matty tramped through the shrubbery. There was no case to be found. We went to our next stop - the back of the WB. Us trying to look nonchalant went right out the window as we dove through the giant WB topiary on Riverside. Still no Redbull. A few gigantic man-eating spiders. No Redbull. We made one final stop at the Dimples parking lot but it wasn't in the cards for us. Still we had a great time, probably the most fun one can have during midterms.

Shannon just left me on Tuesday...AGAIN. Admittedly it was against her will but still. We had a nice low-key time while she was here. We had tickets to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios on Saturday and had a fantastic time. We managed to smuggle in some rum but I'll never tell how...however, there are photos. This year was themed after the SAW movies so there were plenty of actors in black wigs with pig masks running around. One managed to camp out right over my left shoulder. One of the best parts of the night was in the Halloween maze when a giant headless dummy jumped up from off the bed scaring the crap out of Matt. It was a fun night but we were all exhausted by 1am.

School is humming along but it's been like being dunked into a pool of cold water this week and next. I've hardly had any homework or projects so far so all of this preparation and work for midterms has been killer. 2 down, 4 to go... if I can just not fail I'll be excited, and that's saying something for me. My 300 level French courses have sucked out my desire to overachieve. I'm taking today off for the most part. I geniusly scheduled my upper division writing exam for tomorrow. Smack in the middle of midterms. It was obviously well thought out. No big deal really, I just have to be up at 6am on a Saturday to do an SAT style essay in 90 minutes or less. At least it'll be done with while I'm in battle mode. After that test and this semester I will only be 6 classes away from finally having my Bachelor's. Go me.

"Everybody has to leave the darkness sometime"

I was reminded by Amy that I haven't been blogging lately. Things have been just busy and off for the last 6 weeks or so. Sort of a snowball effect of family visits, sickness, and just being off my normal routine in general. The universe has been pushing me into overdrive with this whole 'fixing myself' thing. Sometimes I'm honestly unsure if I will survive all of this becoming. I feel unstable and crazy one minute just to feel more solid and sure than I have ever been the next minute. I'm like one of those springy doorstops we had in our house when I was a kid. We'd flick them and they'd jerk back and forth like crazy until eventually they became still right in the middle. I'm hoping once the shaking stops that is where I find myself.

Shannon was here for a visit which was fantastic. It went way too fast. Mom came a couple weeks after that and that also went incredibly quick. Tam's Mom and Aunt are here now and this is how it's October 4th and I have no idea where the last two months have gone. Shannon is coming back on Thursday so it continues. I have kind of calmed down about school. It is what it is and however it ends up I'm sure it will be fine. I'm surprisingly calm about graduation looming and the giant black question marks that sit on the following months in my mind like unlocked levels in a video game. That's really the lesson though isn't it? Even the next moment has one of those giant question marks as we really only have moments to walk through. Anything can happen. The scariest and most wonderful part about life... I really must stop taking so long to update because all I can think of are broad life themes to write about when there have been plenty of laughs too.

One thing that's been popping up lately have been discussions of motivation, interpretation, and how that all ties in with acceptance of one's self. Accepting myself in all of my imperfection. It's the last piece of the puzzle, the master key that will open all of the other doors, fix all the other parts of myself I don't like, the coup d'etat or whatever. It sounds so simple, yet it has taken me 28 years, 5 months, and 20 hours to figure out it's the one thing holding me back from waking up one morning to find that the person in the mirror is everything I have ever wanted her to be. As someone who is completely emotional in how they interpret the people and world around them I spend alot of time doing my best to never ever ever make any mistakes in my interactions with others. This is of course inevitable in spite of my best intentions and when it happens it devastates me. I am the first person to punish myself harshly and endlessly for any careless word that hurts someone else, or to worry endlessly if someone misinterprets something I have said with the best of intentions. Forget the times I've really messed up! I can't seem to find a way to get over it and let myself off the hook. I can't let myself have a bad day, a crazy moment, a slip of the tongue, a judgemental thought, any sort of weakness...none of this is acceptable. The truly hilarious part is that I would never even think of judging anyone else for the same things.

My friends say stupid hurtful things from time to time, they get drunk and act like complete idiots, they do amazingly thoughtful things, they have great successes and great failures, we are always friends and no matter what kind of day it is I love them anyway. I am terrified of not being perfect because what if people figure it out and choose to walk away? News flash! They already know that I'm not perfect! (insert gasp of horror here) Apparently I'm the only one who was unaware that my 'imperfect' was showing. When I was more overweight I'd always keep my stomach sucked in so I was constantly tense. I couldn't allow myself to relax, and I always wondered how it would be to stop holding my breathe all the time. I finally stopped doing that, but I haven't quite figured out how to do the same thing with my soul. To release and just let myself be and not be afraid. I see other friendships and relationships where one or more people have some serious neurosis or lash out or do any number of annoying things and someone still loves them, someone deals with it and puts up with it anyway because they love them for who they are. And lets face it all of us have issues and neurosis. I love others unconditionally but yet I cannot do that for myself or truly believe that someone else will too. But that was yesterday you see, today is a new day. I hear everyone complain about everyone else as is inevitable with any group of friends but we are all still invited to the next get-together, we still can laugh together, love each other... I have to have faith in myself and in the people I've chosen to have in my life that we mean the best for each other, even when we jack it up. I have to accept that I too am talked about, that I will sometimes be in need of forgiveness, that sometimes I will sound snotty, that sometimes I will go too far, that I am flawed but not fatally so, and that people will love me anyway in spite of these flaws, or better yet, because of them.

PS. My friend Felix sent me pictures of himself in Istanbul and Rome and said that I inspired him. It made my week and I'm so happy for him. Go Fe!

PS.2 It's finally getting cold and I bought boots today. Whoohoo!! Sweater time.

Have YOU seen this missing mini pony?

Now that I'm back to school hopefully these blogs will become more funny and informative and less introspective again. I suppose introspection is to be expected when one has alot of alone time.
I'm halfway through my first week and have experienced all of my classes except for Armenian Culture which is once a week on Fridays. My first day back was an okay start with Conversation French but I started to panic as our first assignment was an oral autobiography. I HATE speaking French in front of any sort of class. This sounds stupid coming from someone who is a French major. I don't mind one-on-one conversation where I can take my time and find the words, still sounding like a retard, but at least its only in front of one. In all of my classes it feels like I'm the worst one, although I'm sure quite a few others feel the same. Tuesday came and my next two classes were also French but upper-level this time. These are classes I shouldn't be in, but have to be in order to finish my major and graduate on time. I am only catching about 50% of the lecture in both classes, which is problematic since one of them is a lecture course on French Civilization. By the time I left school at 7pm after being there since 11am, I was ready to throw in the towel. My Pop Culture class is nearly 3 hours long and with the first class always being incredibly boring with administrative stuff I was bored into a headache. I don't mean to be snotty but if you can't figure out how to log onto a website per written instructions I suggest you ditch college because you're beyond help. I don't like to be bored, I don't like to go slow, and I don't like to be hand-fed simple information. It's always been hard for me to step back and realize that not everyone thinks like me. This is half the reason I picked a foreign language major, everything else arts, English, or humanities related would have been a cakewalk and I need to be challenged. This knowledge doesn't, however, stop me from being a baby about having to work harder.
Surprisingly enough today has been the most fantastic day. Not for any reason in particular, which is the best part. I got some sleep, did most of my ridiculously long to-do list, and after checking out the syllabii from my classes I readjusted my attitude. I may not get the grades I want necessarily but I will be fine. I even stopped being anxious and silly about the autobiography presentation, which I didn't even have to give this morning. I bought some new music on iTunes the other night and one song in particular was my anthem the entire time I was in the car....Bonfire by Third Eye Blind, off their new album. Also check out Ingrid Michaelson.

There's been some sort of shift in me about everything that I've been pondering this summer and now I know I've surpassed so many of my stumbling blocks. I was literally laughing in the car to myself...just happy. I think I've finally reached a new level of confidence and concreteness in myself. I wish I could articulate why but I just can't. Maybe it's simply because being absolutely concrete in who I am obliterates all worries and doubts when it comes to my relationships. It's been amazing to watch alot of my friends realize their lessons and come into their own. These are usually things I pinpointed ages ago as simple guesses with my perceptiveness. I think it's building my confidence in my intuition to finally be proven right over and over. My point is...I know what's going on!! Life is crazy, and weird, and always surprising, but if you can pay attention to the signs, the details, you can start to see the pattern. Shannon always says I read too much into things. Maybe that's true but practicing being aware makes perfect.

Hurry up and wait OR Be Here Now

School starts Monday...darn! I am both excited to go back to classes and 'blah' about it at the same time. I didn't get the exact schedule I wanted, which means I have to take an extra class but at least it's one that's online. I'm enjoying the last week of freedom but mostly I'm just bored. Not exactly bored but right now I am struggling with patience and waiting. Everything I want is concreted into a process. It will all happen, it just has to happen eventually. I'm working on getting the discipline to stop wasting my time sitting around waiting for it but to live in the now and get stuff done. It's not that I don't have stuff to do so it's just a matter of shifting the focus. I'm very much the kind of person who will stay up all night to get something done that needs to be done and none of these things call for that kind of work ethic.

There has been alot of relationship-type news this week from all fronts and most of it makes me want to scream, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?" Are we so fundamentally opposed to being alone that we marry in haste, or deal with crazy people, or get married at 19, or any number of stupid things I've heard this week. What is so wrong with solitude?? Not saying I've got it all together or that I do everything right, but with the wealth of bad examples around me I don't see any reason not to be absolutely cautious before jumping into something with another human being who is just as flawed and full of issues as I am. And no matter what our emotions say, love is not enough. I've loved a number of people in my life that I would not be able to stand on a daily basis. Really LIKING someone is key, also getting to know them well enough that you figure out their flaws and decide whether or not they're flaws you want to deal with is helpful. Everyone has them, and we all have different things that we will and will not handle. I'd rather not do all this figuring out after the fact. More important is knowing myself. If I don't know myself and my good and bad points, what I like and don't like, how on earth will I be able to accurately assess a decent partner. It's like walking into a car dealership with no idea what you want or need. 5 hours later and you're walking out the door with something that may or may not have decent gas mileage or trunk space and then you spend the next however long realizing that something else would have fit you so much better. But at least it's pretty on the outside, right? And it seemed like a good idea at the time because of the adrenaline rush of actually purchasing something that's just yours. What kills me more is the people who have had failed major relationships including marriages and have no issue jumping right back in. Someone failed to learn their valuable lesson here. Maybe my standards are impossibly high. The fact that I've only met about 4 people in the last 10 years that even come close to good enough might evidence this but I dare you to tell me that I need to lower them. I've had enough experience to know exactly what I do and don't need in a partner and I'm not afraid to wait for it. I may not LIKE waiting for it, but I'll do it anyway. I grew up in a war zone and I refuse to reconstruct that for my future. Obviously I am slightly annoyed at this point but I just have trouble understanding what everyone else is thinking.

'This time next year you will wonder what on earth you'd been so worried about'

I have been home from Paris for about 6 weeks now. The summer is flying by and before I can even blink I will be back to the daily class grind. Maybe because I was in Paris I didn't notice the warning signs of the coming avalanche that is now my life. I'm sure there were little trickles of shale, a golf ball sized rock or two, along with a couple of tremors but no inkling of the massive build up of just life that has swept me off my feet. I've done alot of life experimenting now that I'm back to my real life. I wanted to keep up the momentum of experiences that was set in motion in Paris. There was no reason to just sit on my couch and do nothing just because I'm at home. I think I've managed fairly well. Los Angeles has so much to offer if you just venture out into it. I've had some amazing random nights out in West Hollywood where it's a normal evening for people to be standing on the street corner handing out free hugs, and you never know who you might run into. In addition there has been alot of Pool Party USA time with my girls. The making of essential new friends. A hilarious night of shooting music videos with puppets. BBQs and Taco Tuesdays. A first Ethiopian food experience. Drinks and music and dancing. Visits from long lost friends that will always be near and dear no matter how long it's been. The most amazing kiss of my life to date. A much needed mystical encounter. Nights of insomnia where, for once, it was me making the 2am phone call to someone else. Plenty of nights where I was receiving the 2am hysterical phone call. And there have been sunsets...exquisite moments of stillness and beauty. There is just so much going on and everything has such a momentum to it that I feel like one of the kids when Rob or Walker would take their hands and spin them around in the backyard. I am suspended in the air, secured only by the grip of those around me, and the world is rushing past me. Of course I am laughing, loving every minute, but I am dizzy all the same. Dizzy, and overwhelmed. There seems like too much all at once and I'm trying my best not to be afraid.
Last summer on my birthday I had a vision of the woman I wanted to be. She was confident, secure, classy, with perfect hair, and a really fantastic pair of shoes. At that point I had no idea how I would ever get there because it doesn't take a genius to realize that you can dress up every single day and that doesn't buy you class or sophistication. It's like there was this giant black abyss between who I was and who I saw myself becoming, and what's worse is that I had no idea how to even go about getting there. Little did I know that a little time and faith, and life will lead you where you need to go, it provides the way. I am not there yet, but I feel like that dark divide is getting smaller and smaller until one day I will just be there. I correct myself, because I don't feel that it is smaller, I KNOW that it is. I had no idea the 'becoming' would be so painful. It's crazy the people who end up teaching you things and even crazier when a 9 year old and a 4 year old can bring your past and your future crashing together without even being aware of what's happening. I feel like I am on the brink of getting everything I ever wanted in life and that adds a new scary dimension of "well now what?" It's easy to want, you know where you stand, it doesn't require much of you, and more than anything it's safe. I like being safe, but I like expanding more. If you aren't living most of your moments scared out of your mind then you're not living up to your potential. Leaving room for possibilities leaves room for the universe/God to bring in more amazing things than we were even able to imagine existed.

I have been struggling because my heart is a willful child who does what it wants without consulting me. It doesn't listen when I tell it to stop running so fast or to put down the scissors or to stop talking to strangers. But the point is that it doesn't need to listen to my silly head. A head filled with doubts and the opinions of those around me. It only amplifies the fears that are collected from a lifetime of heartbreaks and disappointments and the little voice on your shoulder that tells you to be careful, you don't want to be stupid AGAIN, you don't want to be heartbroken AGAIN, you can't trust that ridiculous child, give it any leeway and it'll jump you off a cliff. I finally realized this morning that I'd been listening to my head too much and I've been angry with my heart for all the times I feel it's led me astray. Angry that it could even consider doing the same thing to me again. All the times I've loved someone and it didn't work out or was unrequited, or felt secure in some circumstance and it changed. What it's taken me all this time to realize is that my heart is the only thing that I can trust, the only thing that makes any sense when there are so many words and details I can get bogged down analyzing. The people I have loved in my life have all led me to where I am now. I've been thinking I need to battle myself and my emotions, squash them, manage them, put them in a box so they can't torture me at night. I have been thinking so wrong. Perfect love is freeing for both the party doing the loving and the object of that love, whether it be a friend, or whoever. It means that you love them enough to want them to be happy, even if its not with you, or them not doing what you think they should. This love creates a fullness and a healing for the person doing the loving. Obsession is the antithesis of this, it's selfish and restricting and usually mistaken for love. The right kind of love allows for a release in both parties and whether that love comes around to meet yours or not it won't even matter because of what's been gained by simply allowing it to just be. I have been instructed by so many to figure out how I feel, to put a label on it, and up until this point I have been at a loss and I couldn't understand why. I realize now that it's because I've been cripplingly obsessed out of fear for myself and the outcome. I can now accept that what I feel is love because I've risen above all that and truly let go. Release of the stranglehold on something that refuses to be held brings such peace. There is no need to be afraid, as Rilke says, "life is in the right, always." It may bring us what we want, but if it doesn't it will bring us more, and it will be sweeter than our sweetest dream.
This life is difficult and rocky, but that's why we have people around us to hold our hands and break our fall...to pick us up, crying, off the floor when putting a beautiful little boy to bed touches a soft spot of emotion so deep we didn't even realize we had it in us. Life demolishes and rebuilds, and yes, it hurts, but the end result will be truly amazing. It's all about faith after-all. Faith that life knows what it's doing. Because it does.

2 Euro Rhum with a Monoprix Cider Chaser. Yuck.

Since I'm writing these after the fact its hard to be linear so I'm going by the pictures in my camera, which can be limited.

The next day was spent in recovery. I don't believe I made it to school, which is great since I only missed 2 classes the whole time I was there anyway. That night we had a group activity in the form of the Musee D'Orsay, my favorite museum in Paris. This one houses all of the Van Gogh, Monet, Maney, Renoir stuff. I wandered around with Lauren and Emma for a bit and then lost them as I took the express escalators up to the best rooms at the top. I managed to find the outdoor balcony where I had an even better time taking a hysterical call from Shannon while feeling really bad that I was having a fantastic time. Even worse I was observing the Left Bank on a gloriously sunshiney day from the roof of an old train station where there are quadruple-life-sized statues looking out over the city. Paris is so beautiful it could heal anyone's soul. I listened to her freak out as I gazed over at Sacre Coeur, the highest point in Paris, as my eyes wandered down the streets of the Marais, as I watched the water of the Seine rush under the ornate bridges. I felt like a terrible person. Anyway, I got the summons that the girls were ready to go so I met them at the exit.

Our next fun excursion was more Seine! Of course. Julie and I got ready for another night out and met Emma and Lauren over in the Latin Quarter for dinner. We chose Le Menhir, which I'd eaten at on another trip to Paris. The guy was super sketchy because he enticed us in with a 10 euro set price menu but didn't want to give it to us when we sat down. Jerk. I ended up striking up a conversation with the couple sitting practically in our laps next to us because every time he said the word 'Yankee' I wanted to strangle him. They ended up being a very nice couple from Georgia or something. We decided not to go back to the house to get wine but ran into the small issue of not having a corkscrew and not wanting to pay for a new one. Oh, we of little faith in how easy the French make it to laze on the Seine with an open bottle. We stopped in at the Monoprix on St. Michel Blvd and found carafe shaped bottles with pull tab tops much to our delight. They also had Monoprix brand cider for under 2 euro, and better yet, something called Rhum for 2 euro that looked like the kind of bottle that usually comes with a brown bag and a bum attached to it. We bought it of course, and then briefly stopped in next door to beg some plastic cups at Starbucks as we were trying for a classier sort of evening. Pleased with our purchases AND our free cups, we head down to a different part of the Seine, possibly on the Ile St. Louis...I'm not entirely sure. The draw of this spot is that its smack in the middle of the Seine on an island point that juts out into the water. We plopped ourselves down in the crowd and immediately Lauren knocks our cups down the embankment onto a ledge by the water. Curses! Back to swigging out of the bottle. As is the norm now some guy comes up to us and tries to speak French with us. Lauren is more than happy to accommodate but when the conversation goes silent and awkward he just wouldn't go away. We finally had to have Julie tell him that 'NO, our alcohol is for us, he has to go get his own,' and that got rid of him. She's pleasantly mean like that...we like it. It was rather cold out so we opted to move up the steps and into the grassy park. Small problem...grassy park was gated off. Clearly that hadn't stopped the hundred other people who'd hopped over the fence to get in so, as they say, when in Rome...err...Paris... We hopped the fence and plopped on the grass. Another two random boys came up to us who spoke decent english. They were very charming and invited us to go hang out with their group. We might have but once again I had to pee so we made our exit. Finding bathrooms in Paris is REALLY hard, hence this problem that keeps popping up. Funny, but we find ourselves at peeing boy bathroom again. Emma and Lauren decide to head home but Julie and I aren't ready to call it a night. We head towards Rue de la Huchette stopping on the way for the most delicious pizza ever. The crust was like biting into a cloud....really. We decide to try a bar on the left that looks promising. There are alot of fun lights, random conga lines, and 'No-stripper' signs posted on the walls. Great! Drinks are expensive so we only get one and then head out. Randomly these two younger people come up to us and start talking to us. They recommend the bar across the street from where we've been because of the salsa dancing. We're tired but we decide to check it out anyway. As we're walking in they tell us that they'll be closing in 20 minutes so we say okay and continue to look around. Another bouncer tells us that we need to buy a drink or leave so we say okay, we'll leave. As we're walking out the door Julie gets shoved from behind right out of the place by security. We couldn't believe it. Needless to say, although I love staying on Huchette, I will never frequent a bar there again since 3 out of the 3 that we've visited have been terrible. Tired we start the walk home only to be stopped by another weirdo. This is no surprise since Paris has an endless supply and in my weariness I could have sworn he was the exact same fellow who wouldn't leave us alone on the island.

Est-ce que vous avez...um...'preservatives'?

The very next day we decided to make a second trip up to Sacre Coeur/Montmartre because Julie and Rachel hadn't gone the first time. The rest of us also wanted to spend some more time in that gorgeous area of Paris with windy streets and square-filled artists. I wanted to do some shopping at H&M so I met Julie outside our apartment and we walked up to Saint Placide. This took quite a bit longer than I'd anticipated so we were running behind practically before we began as we were to meet the girls at 3pm. I HATE H&M still but I did find a fantastic black dress to wear on nights we go out. Julie and I rushed back to the metro and rode it all the way up to Northern Paris because Emma, Rachel, and Lauren had already headed in that direction. The metro was terrible, crowded and hot and smelly. We skipped one transfer train but pushed onto the next one for the short one-stop ride to Anvers. We were pretty much about to faint from heat stroke so we stopped and purchased multiple beverages for the trip up to the cathedral. We met the girls at the top and stopped for some photo opportunities. While we were hanging out there was this street performer who could spin a basketball on pretty much anything...WHILE climbing up the giant lamppost. It was cool. We were hungry so we dragged the other girls to Place du Tertre where all of the street artists gather. There are restaurants in the center of the square as well for outdoor dining. After perusing every menu in site we ended up at Chez Eugene in the center of the square. I had thrown a minor tantrum because I did not want anymore paninis or crepes but I settle myself down when I saw the menu was quite varied. We got squished into a table meant for four and the French ladies next to us muttered something about us being sardines. They were incredibly sweet to us and we took over an extra table of theirs when they left. Dinner was amazing. I got the Confit du Canard...duck leg and it was seriously good. We got little carafes of wine and had great conversation. The end of our dinner was terribly exciting as Rachel got pooped on by the same kind of evil bird who stalks me through my apartment window. She kept talking about scrubbing her arm while slathering on mass amounts of hand sanitizer. We did a little shopping in the souvenir stores and Rachel and I got Gelato - Nutella Gelato. Yum! We had a little time before we were supposed to meet Ruchita for wine on the Seine so we sat with everyone else on the steps up to Sacre Coeur. Lauren, who was still sick, managed to croak out a few practice round of her oral presentation for class. I somehow got the giggles and couldn't stop laughing. Finally it was nearly 9:30 and I insisted it was time to go. We picked up wine from home and Emma, Lauren and I went to meet Ruchita at the Saint Germain stop. We were nearly to the Seine when three men stopped us. We figured out that they were inviting us to their 'accommodation' meaning their apartment and I put my foot down about going to anyone's apartment. We ditched them and made it to the Pont Des Arts to fulfill the promise of seeing what all the fuss was about with the rest of the locals. The Pont is one of the best bridges in Paris. It's a wooden pedestrian bridge situated directly between the ornately carved Pont Neuf, the oldest bridge in Paris, and a view of the Eiffel Tower which sparkles for 10 minutes every hour. Everyone on the bridge is sitting in groups with wine and/or picnic items, playing music, talking...it's fantastic. We pick a place and sit down trying not to gripe about the lack of cute boys in the immediate vicinity. As we would learn time and again, the weirdos will come to you without fail. After awhile of girl talk and bonding two moderately cute boys join us for conversation. Matteo and Greg. I chat with Matteo about politics and Sarkozy for awhile, who knows where the other conversation was headed. They attempted to punk some of our wine, a talent specifically reserved for Frenchman, it wouldn't be the last time that happened. At some point Ruchita and Julie had to pee so they followed Greg because he said he knew where the bathrooms were. Thankfully I didn't join them because the 'bathrooms' were some bushes off of the bridge. Classy! Not only are we swigging from the bottles we're peeing on the streets...actually, that makes us more Parisian than anything. Its starting to get late and the bridge is clearing out when we notice we're out of wine. THANK GOODNESS there are hobos selling bottles of wine on the bridge. That's what I call service. We purchase one and decide to find a bar somewhere else because now I have to pee as well. As we're trying to leave we get accosted by random people wanting us to smoke weed out of a hookah. Thanks but no thanks. These same fellows happened to have a 'preservative' (aka condom) on them when Julie asked. Why she asked I will never know because she freaked out the minute it was produced. Hilarious. All of a sudden the boys disappear so we ditch them to go find someplace that Ruchita knows about. All of a sudden they reappear and jog after us up the street. I need a bathroom really badly by this time so we magically arrive near Rue de Buci and the bar that we always manage to happen upon when it's time to use the facilities. I remember it because there's a creepy painting of a peeing little boy on the door. We somehow manage to convince them we're going home, which WAS the plan at the time, at least for Emma, who decided it was late enough for her. Ruchita, Julie and I decided we were hungry and I remembered that the Dungeon always serves pizza for decently cheap. How we find ourselves there so often I will never know. Maybe because its open til 5am?? Anyway, we order a pizza and the rest of the night passed until somehow its 6am, daylight, and I am making the trek back to our apartment with Julie. It was a FUN FUN evening.

'Have you had YOUR red pleasure today' and other 'private jokes'

Tuesday was Karl day! He'd scheduled us a ride on the Bateaux Mouches Seine River cruise since the weather decided to clear up and be nice. Before that I went to lunch with Julie and the cute South American boys from her class, and we commenced shopping on Rue de Rennes. They had some really awesome stores but everytime I purchase something I dread having to haul my bags around Dublin even more. She needed to go meet one of her family members, Francois, who I think I'd marry if he were about 40 years younger. He's awesome! I caught Nicole online and told her to get off Facebook and go do something since she's in Paris. She invited me to go to the Luxembourg Gardens to read so I headed off to meet her and Laura. We didn't get much reading done but got alot of girl talk done instead which was nice. Laura was a good girl and jogged around the park while we relaxed on benches. Some guy came up to Nicole and asked her to go for a drink and with a completely straight face she grabs my leg and goes, 'Oh no, this is my girlfriend.' He gets all excited and gives us high fives and apologizes that he didn't know. I could barely contain my laughter until after he left. Yick to weird french boys. We finally realized how late it was getting and I had to get to the Monoprix and then home in time for the cruise. I met Ouida on the way so we decided to head over together. We got to the meeting place ontime and then couldn't find Karl and the boys. Apparently we'd walked right past them after wandering on Pont Alexander for much too long. I think they were lying, there was no way we wouldn't have seen them. We always wait when it comes to group activities so wait we did. The meeting time was at 9, so naturally we didn't actually get on the cruise until 10:30pm. It turned out okay though because then all of Paris was lit up. We realized why we hadn't seen the bars packed at nights, every single young person in Paris was on the Seine I swear. There were rotundas on one section with a different of dance in each one. The islands in the middle were packed with people eating cheese and bread, and drinking wine. We seriously wanted off the boat so we could join them. Paris is the most beautiful city in the world without question. We made plans to join them on the banks with our own wine as soon as possible.

Winnie Caca and other things that don't translate.

I know it's been an awfully long time since I've written. Honestly there has just been too much going on. I don't suppose it'd be good use of my time turning down offers for activities here in Paris just so I can blog about the other stuff. I shouldn't have waited quite so long though since now I have to remember all the interesting things that have happened in the last 9 days.
Last weekend I was invited with my friend Julie's family to their country house in Normandie. I know, my life is horribly rough. I finished school on Friday and then went to have wine on the Seine with Emma, Lauren, and their friend. I couldn't stay too long because I had to pack to leave. I headed to Julie's house at 7. They live in a really pretty suburb of Paris called Fountain of the Rose in English. There would be 5 of us in the car with Ramie, the dad. Palmyr and her boyriend Geoffrey would be going as well. The other 2 girls Eloise and Ruffine were already at the house. We drove past Versailles Palace, 2 hours into the Normandie countryside. It doesn't get dark until like 11pm here so we got there right before dark. They have 4 big horses and 2 miniature horses. The house is old and theyre renovating it which is a dream for alot of people back home. There is a second house on the grounds as well, and that sits in the middle of a four square garden complete with cherry tree, raspberries, cassis, roses, and so many other plants. It was wonderfully relaxing. Saturday we woke up to coffee, baguette, and nutella in the garden. Julie was super sick so she went back to bed and I helped the girls put up the big tent they'd bought for the upcoming family reunion. It was surprisingly not awkward with us barely being able to speak to each other. Eloise and Palmyr speak some english and my french is terrible. I can understand it but speaking it is awful for me and anyone required to understand what I'm trying to say. Anyway, I now have an even worse farmers tan than before. I was asked to help Eloise with lunch and she made an amazingly tasty and simple dish with mushrooms, chicken, cream sauce, and pasta. Ramie had purchased a lovely cream cake so we had that for dessert. Oh and cheese and bread after the meal too. Cheese and bread come after EVERY meal. I rested for literally 10 minutes and then we started getting the horses ready for the afternoon ride. It was SO FANTASTIC. I got a quick refresher course and all of the French names for grooming bridleing and saddling. They ride English saddle here and it's nearly the same thing but the saddles are less complicated. The horses were really big and Geoffrey was strong enough to pretty much lift me onto it with ease. I was amazed. Once we were seated and Julie had instructions since this was her first time on a horse, we were on our way. All of us got to go because with the addition of the two ponies that pulled the little carriage Geoffrey drove, we all had a seat. The ride was lovely and the tree-lined country roads almost brought Louis XIV back to life. We rode for what seemed like 4 hours. My butt was incredibly sore but it was just really nice to be back on a horse, breathing in the fresh air, greeting small children and villagers like we were a parade...awesome. I also amused myself by using the word 'villagers' just then. Anyway, it was about 9pm by then so we had dinner at the house. It was salmon and capers with green beans, and then of course, bread and cheese. A few of them needed to be back in Paris the next morning so Eloise, Julie, Ruffine, and myself were left to ourselves. I talked with Eloise for awhile after the other girls went to bed and I found my french much improved when the pressure wasn't so strong. Sunday, Julie still felt terrible so we didn't do much bit sit around and listen to a bunch of french music courtesty of Ruffine including some very funny french rap. We headed back into town and I didn't end up getting home until 8:30. It was Lauren's birthday so we just celebrated with some wine in our apartment and got homework finished for the morning.

Monday we had our usual test in class. Hurray. After class I rushed home to eat and get psyched up for my tattoo appointment that was at 4pm. Rachel offered to go with me so I took her up on it. We got there early and it was done in no time. It looks really great! I was on such a high from the experience that we decided we should all go out that night and stop being so lame. Earlier that day Kathy and Nancy had emailed about having a dinner together since we'd all been doing different things for the most part. We met at Rue de la Huchette and found a restaurant. After dinner it was still raining (rain in Paris sucks) but we trudged back to Buci and got ready to go out. Ruchita, Nicole, Emma, Rachel and I all headed to this little dive Ruchita had heard about. The Sangria was amazing and so cheap. We decided that our plans of an early night were silly so we headed to where Jenn and Chelsea were having dates. The girls ordered B52 shots which the bartender sets on fire. He gave them straws for some odd reason and Ruchita thought it'd be a good idea to put them in the glass before blowing out the flames. Needless to say the straw lit on fire and the grouchy bartender had to put them out. Funny. It was stuffy in there with not much happening so we decided to leave them alone and go to Rue de Princesse again. Getting drenched does nothing for ones hair so we looked stellar by the time we made it to that street. Ruchita yelled something about how soon even her panties would be wet, which made all of us laugh hysterically as she sputtered that she hadn't meant it that way. Nicole scared some old lady by threatening to pee on her dog. I'm not entirely sure what the story was with that but it was amusing. Ruchita's theory that if Rue de Princesse was hopping on the weekends it be moderately busy during the week. She was correct. We ended up at a place where the shots were 20euro for 10 and it was a good good time. We finally decided to call it a night when Nicole comes rushing over and whispers, "We've got to get out of here I just stole the toilet paper out of the bathroom." The lights came on and she started panicking about a possible bag check. Ruchita found out that the guy she'd been talking to had a girlfriend and the night ended rather quickly with us stalking home in the wet...again. Good times.

Use the phrase Je t'aime with caution

It is an absolutely beautiful day today FINALLY. It's been raining for what seems like years. In reality, only since Monday. Since I've been so whiney you may wonder why I'm not outside. Well, I was. I did my normal 2 hour wander around after school schtick. I get tired and need to come home for a bit. Now I'm waiting for Julie to get here and spending some quality time on the internet since the roomates are all out for a bit. I've spent the last couple of days wandering around in the rain. Monday Karl set up an activity for us at the IMAX Geode theatre. We went to see The Alps in French. It was pretty cool because the screen is in an arc around and above you, which is so much cooler than most IMAXs that I've been to.
Tuesday after school I got lost-ish a few times. It's amazing how long you can walk around without finding a metro if you take the wrong streets. I wasn't really looking for one but by the time I happened across one I was ready to be done.
Yesterday Julie and I decided to brave the rain and go shopping after school. We didn't have too much luck with that but we did stop at this fancy place that sells Macaroons in many flavors. They were expensive at 1.50euro for a cookie the size of an oreo but I'd been instructed to try them by a few different people. We got 4 to share. I can't see the major attraction but they were pretty good. Now that we were on a sugar high I suggested we stop by the American Body Art so I could price out the tattoo I want to get. Sebastian, the guy who runs the shop, was still there and remembered me from last year. I figure its because my friend Tabitha is a wacko...he couldn't help but remember. They translated my phrase for me correctly and one of the girls drew it up for me. Times must be tough because they could have done it right then! I wasn't ready so I set an appt for Saturday at 4pm. The only problem I'm having is with placement. I wanted it by my wrist but after much negotiation I don't think that's going to work for me. First its too big to fit properly. Second, they won't put it up high enough to make me happy, which I understand why, but still. Lastly, if I do have to get a real job sooner or later I might want to be able to cover it up more easily so its been decided that it'll go on the inside of my arm right below my elbow. After completing that little expedition we trekked back home in the rain. About a block and half from the apartment it started really pouring so we got stuck under the awning of Crabtree and Evelyn for about 20 minutes. It sucked. I was dripping with water by the time we trudged into our courtyard. Julie's cousin had called and wanted us to come out to where she was with her friend for a drink or two. I really really didn't want to go because of the rain but it stopped and my pants were dry so I agreed. By this time Emma, and Lauren had arrived home with their friend from Germany who is visiting and they decided to go with us. The plan was to go to Montmartre afterwards but that never happened. It was sort of one miscommunication after another. We ended up at this Brazilian place where we had to pay 6euro to get it. We found out after we had all already eaten that this includes a meal but no drinks. However, in order to get the free meal you had to then buy a beer for 5euro. Lame! It was a pretty interesting place however because they teach you to salsa and then its kind of a free-for-all. I was in even worse 'mom' mode because I ended up holding everyones coats and purses while they went to dance. I just can't explain how little I wanted to deal with creepy guys asking me to dance. I know, I know. At some point on this trip I will lighten up, I swear. It just wasn't going to be last night. We weren't there too long but long enough that it was late and we were all desperately tired by the time we got home. I had been going all day in the cold and wet and I couldn't even keep my eyes open to finish my homework.

This morning we were pleasantly surprised to find sun shining through the window. It's after 6:30 and it's still shining. I was so pleased. I walked home from the building where I have my phonetics classes and found some great shops. On a whim I decided to stop in at St. Sulpice that's famous for The Da Vinci Code, and was pleasently surprised with an antiques market right in front. I stood drooling and coveting a complete set of Jules Verne originals. At 600euro a book I walked away fairly easily but still. I WANT! I sat in the church for awhile as I got some info today that made my head hurt. No better place to talk to your maker I suppose, and no one cares how long you sit, and it's quiet. Hurray for churches. Anyway, I hit the road again and ended up home with some marble loaf for everybody. Now I'm sleepy, and still waiting for everybody to get home.

My Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard OR There's nothing classy about drinking out of the bottle

The weekend went by way too quickly. Friday night we all bucked up like the good campers we were and got ready to go out. Emma and I were so tired but after chugging coffee and talking Julie into coming up we got in the mood. We made it to Rue de Buci an hour and a half earlier than last week but still ended up not making it out of the house until 1am. Before that there was a lot of loud jabbering and dancing to Britney. We've decided that the waiting for people is lame because the group dispersed the minute we got out the door. Never again! Pretty much the same group as last time followed Carter to Rue de Princesse and found ourselves at a place called The Frog and Princess. It was insanely crowded and their were weirdo and not-so-weirdo boys everywhere. I have been such the 'mom' or so they tell me, that I haven't had time to relax and just have fun. I'm constantly checking to make sure everyone's stuff is in my purse, that we all have drinks, that no ones wandered off, etc. That's ok, it's my job here. Anyway, because we'd made it out so late everything felt rushed because most bars close at 2am and this one was one of them. We chugged the one drink we'd all gotten and tried to figure out where everyone else had gone off too. Surprise, surprise we found ourselves back at the Dungeon. Maybe before I leave here I'll try to figure out what it's actually called. We were only there long enough to pee when Julie and I decided we needed food. We found a place actually serving late and paid a ridiculous amount for chicken and risotto, which we shared. After chatting up the three boys next to us we bailed. Emma wanted to dance so we found Chelsea and Ruchita at a cafe across the street. They were headed back to the dungeon with some boys they'd met. One of them was SO cute and I found out he's an American from New York...with a girlfriend. Darn. Anyway, Julie was over it and so we left not too long after our arrival...again. We were out until 4am but I have no idea where the time went. It was so much fun just talking to random people, hanging out with the girls, and feeling the energy of the city. Side note - Obama has been in town and Jenn's boyfriend Matt ran into them in a store near our apartments. I was SO JEALOUS. That would have been awesome.
The next morning we'd planned on going to Versailles for the afternoon but it was raining by the time we got up. Curses! We decided to go to the underground mall at Les Halles instead and shop. I got some awesome jeans because the ones I brought are now too big. Um, yay! Julie and I got food at McDonalds. It was tasty! We wandered the streets for a little bit since the rain had stopped because there are so many different shops to catch one's attention. They decided they wanted to see the Pompidou Center, which houses the Museum of Modern Art or something like that. I was grouchy about the whole thing since I had no idea what on earth we'd see there. I was even more grouchy paying 12euro for a mystery museum. I tried not to be too much of a pain until the nastiness wore off. We bought tickets, met Rachel there, and started the tour. The first floor, which is really like the 4th in reality, is filled with depressing, disturbing, and totally wack video, sound, and visual installations all under the title of 'feminism'. People are sick! There was a video of some naked girl with a barbed wire hula hoop on the beach. There were other rooms where there were 5 screens full of naked people doing odd things with chickens that I'd rather not describe. There were interesting parts that weren't so nauseating but modern art is seriously weird. The next floor up went back to somewhat normal and that was where all the Calder, Matisse, and Picasso was situated. Those were pretty cool but I was dehydrated and queasy from the other exhibits so Lauren and I decided to head downstairs. Right after we went to this creperie across the street that had a fixed menu for pretty cheap and ate dinner. We had to be up super early the next morning for the Loire Valley so we hung out at home and got some sleep.

Our meeting time was supposed to be at 7:30. I got up and had to rush around because we hadn't bothered to fix lunch the night before and I was on a slow roll. Julie and I were last on the bus. Whoops. We set off immediately for Chartres Cathedral which is an hour and half outside of Paris. It was SO COLD. We trooped through quietly since mass was going on and then Ruchita, Laura, Ouida, Julie and I parked ourselves at a cafe for breakfast and coffee. The cathedral was nice but its a church, I've seen alot. The only entertaining ones now are the baroque-style ones because they're just hideously over the top. Onward for two hours to the Loire Valley and Chateau Chambord. I slept everytime we set foot on the bus...something about the rocking... The chateau was seriously impressive. Built as a little 'ol hunting lodge for Francois I, it's one of the prettiest castles I have ever seen. The key element is a double helix staircase thats rumored to have been designed by Leonardo Da Vinci. It was pretty awesome, and we could have played on it for hours. Our guide took us on a tour and we ran out of time so we didn't get to explore hardly at all. That was a disappointment but I'll recover I suppose. We ate our lunch on a bridge overlooking the river and that was not at all a disappointment especially as I munched on the raspberry beignet I bought in the market. Rip van Winkled our 20-minute-drive-which-was-actually-an-hour to the winery we were headed to for a tour. When we finally arrived it was once again cold and slightly rainy and even more cold as we headed into the cave that they'd dug out of the mountain for storing the wine. Our guide was SO CUTE! The winery has been in his family for about 500 years or something like that, handed down from father to son and so on. I can't even begin to imagine having a legacy like that. After the tour and explanation we got on with the good part - the tasting. We got to try 11 different kinds. Lauren kindly let me have the remainder of the ones she didn't like. When we got to the sparkling wine our guide popped the cork towards the ceiling and it ended up ricocheting off of Cathy's head. It was hilarious. There were many purchases made and we loaded up to go home. On the way back the only road through was blocked by a bad accident so there were multiple u-turns and detours through fields. We decided to open one of the sparkling wines which managed to explode all over my hoodie that was being used to reign in the cork. Nice. We passed the bottle between the 5 of us and commenced with bus microphone karaoke. Karl, our director, started it off with "Milkshake" which sent us all into hysterics. We sang for hours...a little Backstreet Boys, a little Spice Girls, some Beatles. It was magnificent fun. I even sang out loud, by myself, which is insane for me as most of you know. It was fantastic. After a long time we all shutup and went to sleep. It was super late by the time we got back and most of us had class in the morning and the start of our extra hour of phonetics so we called it a night.
We woke up to dampness but no rain. I headed to class without my hoodie and boy did I regret it. It was raining by the time I got done with our test and also freezing. I trekked all the way to the phonetics class in the rain (not technically, I used the metro, but still) I can't even explain why tape recorders freak me out but they do. I was laughed at one time when friends suggested I get a tape recorder to get down writing ideas that come into my head at random times. I said I couldn't because the moment I hit record my mind goes blank. It still holds true today. My phonetics class might help me get over it, or it could be a total disaster. Hopefully tomorrow goes more smoothly. I stopped at the store on the way home, since I was already wet and passing right by it, to get something for dinner so I wouldn't have to leave again. I've now spent the remainder of the evening being stressed out about the dog situation at home and doing homework and blog. Fantastic. Too much time to think, too little ways to communicate with home...always a bad combo. I really really hope it doesn't rain tomorrow.

Feet, feet, feet

Our first week of classes est finir! Yay, and not yay, all at the same time. That means we are one week closer to leaving Paris. Yep, I'm one of THOSE people. Classes are going well and I feel like we are up to where I left off after the first week so it'll be more practice for me on all the stuff I need practice on. I am tres sleepy right now. For some reason I couldn't sleep last night and then I woke up at 6am. We went to the Eiffel Tower last night and I somehow got talked into taking the cheap route and walking up the stairs to the 2nd level. The girls probably would have done the whole thing if that wasn't as far as they let you walk. 710 stairs up. I was very impressed with myself at how hard it wasn't. Not that it didn't suck for the last few flights but there were no ambulances required. I'm not sore today which makes me really afraid for tomorrow, especially since we're all going out tonight. My feet are jacked up. Where they aren't cut up from last weeks heels, there are blisters from my Tevas, and now my toenails are jammed because of the shoes from today. I don't care how ridiculous I look I'm going to rock my flipflops proudly from now on.
We were trying to figure out just what it is about the French that they can make the most ridiculous outfits chic. Seriously, if an American tried to pull off some of the stuff they wear we'd be laughed out of existence. After much pondering I think it's two things...or maybe three...lets see where we end up. First, and most important, is the footwear. There are absolutely no tennis shoes or flipflops of any kind for the most part. The right pair of shoes can dress up the most hideous outfit. Second, they actually wear clothes that fit them. Now granted most of them are thin but there are no muffin tops or back fat on the ladies here, even the older ones. Americans simply do not dress for their body or their size. And I suppose lastly, that thin people can pull of alot of stuff that bigger people can't. All of these things in combination give the French a little something extra no matter what they wear. It's slightly intimidating.
I'll have to admit I've been shopping. I can't help it. There are so many cute things here: cute bags, cute shoes, cute shirts, cute dishes, etc. I've reigned it in for the most part but I did purchase a new dress and a new shirt that I totally love. I don't know why but the clothes I proudly wore last summer in Europe feel almost ridiculous at home. The ones I normally wear at home feel ridiculous here. There shouldn't be a difference...but there is.
I finally got pictures to upload to facebook, it was making me nuts. The connection here is great until it comes to pictures. So the plan is to go out tonight. Get up at some point tomorrow and go to Versailles where we are planning on renting bikes to get around the grounds. Sunday we have our program sanctioned day trip to Chartres and the Loire Valley, and I'm very excited about it.
Everyone is trying to make plans for the free weekends and after much research I've decided I'm staying in Paris. Mont St. Michel is someplace I've always wanted to go but its WAY too much money, as is going to Barcelona or Rome. I'm going to try and talk someone into going to Parc Asterix with me which has roller coasters and so on. Plus everyone wants to go to Disneyland so thats an expense and so on and so on. I do have to draw the line somewhere.

Picnic at the Eiffel

Today was one of those days that is so subtly beautiful and fragile that you really have to cup it in your hands if you want to look at it so that it doesn't crumble under pressure. It started out in another rush of me trying to finish my blog and respond to emails while gulping down coffee and dodging roomates. My class isn't until 11 but you wouldn't know it the way we rush around. I had to get textbooks today and you never know how long anything is going to take so I had to be out an hour before class just in case I had to ask six times where they were in the bookstore. (I only had to ask twice...fyi) I also was completely out of minutes for my France Telecom phone so I needed to stop at the Orange store for a recharge. I made it to class 20 minutes early so I enjoyed the beautiful little park in the back of some church next to my building. Class wasn't nearly so stressful but 2 hours does wear on the attention span. I was hurrying home so we could maybe go get train tickets to Mont St. Michel before our outing at 3:30. We didn't end up going so Julie came here and we all headed up to Opera Garnier for 'Paris Story' a film, and a tour of the Fragonard Perfumerie. The film was very similar in feel to the one they have at the France pavilion at Disney World. I just don't see how everyone isn't completely in love with this city. The perfume factory was right across the street and Karl jaywalked our group into traffic and across. I hope they return my money if I die because this happens frequently. The woman at the perfume factory was hilarious and let us sample all the right kinds of perfume we'd need if we wanted a new boyfriend to replace our old one, get a promotion at work, and so on. I ended up purchasing two medium bottles of two different scents. I keep sniffing my wrist as I type. There was a special if you bought 5 bottles so I went in with Julie and Chelsea. My bottle at home of Ferragamo is nearly bad and there is NO better place to buy perfume than Paris, directly from a factory. PS. If your grandpappy has a distillery in his basement or garage you too can make perfume...same process apparently.
After we were finished bathing in the delicious smells we were free to do whatever. Julie, Nancy, Emma, Rachel, Lauren, and I decided to go down to Rue Cler near the Eiffel Tower. The street is nothing but fruit shops, cheese shops, bread shops, meat shops, etc. With a stop at each store we assembled a picnic and found a prime spot on the lawn in shadow of the Tower. We were surrounded by Parisians who were also enjoying a beautiful, perfect day. It took awhile for the tiny thought of 'wake up, dodo! You're having a picnic of the most delectable foods in plain view of your most favorite structure in the world, with people you really enjoy.' The nudge kept on poking me in the back of the brain until I realized that these were the exact moments that I wanted this trip to be all about. Life is so rich here. I live a fairly hearty one at home but there is just something about Paris. Maybe the age of the city itself gives it a firmer foundation, roots it more closely to the earth. Things feel more permanent here, more valuable. Up until now I grasped onto Paris like having a crush on someone. You want them but they're not really yours. Now I have a hold on the city and I part of my history is here.
Life is so hard to look at sometimes. Most of it is like trying to focus on something out a train window when the train is going 150 miles an hour. Trying to pick things out gives you a headache. I want to focus on those moments, like today, while I'm having them, so I can savor them on my tongue like really good chocolate. You can only taste it when its in your mouth, and you can only feel the texture of the moment when youre hands and body are swimming around in it.
A month can go by so fast at home. Hours and days made up of a thin, watery soup. We have been here 4 days and each one feels thick and full. Alright it's late...again...

Paris: The Beginning

It's only been about 3 days since I arrived in Paris but it feels like a month already. I met two of my flatmates, Lauren and Emma, at Gare du Nord train station and we took a taxi to our apartment in St. Germain-des-pres. our director karl was late so we had plenty of time to get to know each other. He finally arrived withour last roomate Ouida about an hour later. We have a door the size of a cadillac to push through once we enter a code and that takes us into this huge columned indoor/outdoor atrium. Another key works the panel on our titanic-style staircase entryway and up we go to the very top to our apartment. It's fantastic and we decided at 5:30 Sunday morning after an all-nighter that we'd try climbing through it to see what we could see. There's a 6 inch culvert thing and a balustrade so we have an unofficial balcony onto the city of Paris.

We got to meet the other people in the program Friday morning as we all met at St. Michel Fountain for placement test day. There are 19 of us in all and only 3 of them are boys. Our first stop was at the Sorbonne offices to get our IDs and pictures taken. Then onto testing. The placement tests went rather dismally for everyone or so we thought. I sat there and stared at the woman like a mute when it was time for the oral section. I managed to eek out one decent answer. After that we had a tortuous info session with Karl and then our welcome dinner. What was funny is that we had our dinner at the same exact place Shannon, Tabitha, and I had dinner at last year across from the hotel I normally stay at. The food was quite delicious and as is requisite in France it lasted for over 3 hours. It was my new friend Julie's b-day and we were going to go out but decided to leave it for Saturday night since we hadn't had time to change and it was already nearly 11pm.

Saturday we got up to do some grocery shopping at the Monoprix before our meeting with the group at 1:30. We had gotten the essentials and breakfast stuff the first night but we want to do alot of eating at home so it was back to the grocery store. We all have similar likes so its been working great to get some collective stuff and some personal stuff. We were scheduled to do a quick walking tour on the way to France Telecom so everyone could get cellphones. It's so expensive to call home but they're mostly for texting and calling each other here anyway. It took FOREVER. I really mean that. It was 3 hours after the estimate before we were released to go home. We were technically supposed to meet the Buci girls (we are all referred to by our apartment's street name) and the Rue de Four girls at the Buci apartment at 9. We didn't get there until midnight as we were waiting for Julie, whos living with her family, to get here after a Metro mishap. We played the loudest game of Never Have I Ever and then out we went at 1am. There are 14 strong personalitied girls so it's a serious battle in - a. getting a word in edge-wise and b. being heard even if you manage to speak. Heels-clacking we headed out. There is a really cool club that doesn't get going until about 2am and stays open until 6am that we stopped at first. There weren't too many people so a group of us left to go up Rue de la Huchette to a couple of places that I knew of from last time. After a quick stop at the scandalous Latin Corner we left the rude French bartender boys and headed to my favorite place Le Who's Bar. Julie and Rachel were immediately accosted by two French guys so we sat for an hour or so until we could escape gracefully. Back to the other club to see what the rest of the girls were doing and I could barely walk at this point as my new heels were NOT my friend. All-in-all it was a very fun night and we watched the sunrise from our secret balcony until we were too tired to do anything but go to sleep.
Sunday was SO much fun after we hydrated and got showered. We met the group at a metro stop in the Marais for our bicycle tour of the city. I haven't been on a bicycle since before I left Alaska and I was VERY SCARED the first 15 minutes or so. I was way too wobbly to be let loose in Paris. After a time though I was a serious pro and all was well considering we hit heavier traffic in central Paris than is normal for a Sunday. I don't even remember what the stops were, it was the fantasticness of whizzing through small streets by little brasseries and markets that was the most fun part. We did stop for the BEST ice cream EVER at this place near the Seine. There was a line about a block long but it was so worth it. After socializing and resting our sore behinds we rode the 15 minutes back and the rest of the afternoon was free. I have approximately 15 bruises, no exaggeration, including one the size of a softball on my leg from little disagreements with the peddles.
We decided to get to bed decently early as school was in the morning and we were all a little nervous about what to expect. I left a little later than intended from the house because one of hte girls called and wasn't sure about her class assignment. I used my brand new NAVIGO card and hopped on the Metro to go up the lame two stops. My classroom is right across from Notre Dame but I had a hard time finding the specific street. I made it with 5 minutes to spare. Our professor Mme Gautier is crazy and fun and I spent most of the class scared out of my mind but that's what I need or I won't pay attention. I placed higher than expected and am at the top of the elementary class, which sounds lame but there are 4 Debutante levels, and 3 elementary under me, which means I'll be intermediate when I'm done. There are only 3 intermediates on this trip anyway. I was pleased and relieved when class was done. It's only 2 hours but its a teensy bit stressful. I meandered home for some lunch and then took a much needed nap. When I woke up everyone was gone so I decided to see if the Telecom place was open. I ended up wandering around for a couple of hours through the streets below our apartment. My feet look like they've been in a blender due to the new heels so the only shoes I can wear are my Tevas which are getting grosser by the day. Luckily there is no shortage of fun shops here. It's all been very big-brothery since we got here just in that everyone got really familiar with each other really fast. It's been an amazing time so far. I just don't want the month to go too fast!

Zebras Fart?!?! OR How many elephants did YOU see before breakfast?

The trip is nearly over and I am having a hard time fully digesting everything that we've seen and done. I know it will be right around mid-August before everything really sinks in. Sunday was a low-key day that began with church in the capital city of Mbabane. The pastor was out of town and the guest speaker was mercifully brief. Mosaic church has us spoiled with its hour long services. Afterwards we headed to the Mlwane Game Park for lunch in the form of a braai (pronounced like 'try' with a 'b') The camp keeps fires going so we threw on some steaks and had a delicious picnic lunch. Warthogs and deer-like Nyala wandered through the tables looking for scraps. We'd run through our chunk of luck the other day at Kruger so we didn't see too many animals on our afternoon drive. We did see our first zebras though and enjoyed the fresh air That park had no big cats so we were free to get out of the car a little. You can also rent bicycles or horses and ride next to the wildlife. That night was call-making time in the Blosser household so we talked to our cousin Rhonda who is their daughter and who is my age, and our Mom. She was very happy to hear our voices.

Monday we had a few things on the agenda before our departure to the overnight trip we had booked. AD and UM took us to meet the staff at Trans World Radio where they work. We took a tour of the facilities and had donuts with the staff. The Swazi's are incredibly friendly people who are polite and proud of their country. After the visit we headed over to the Rema Orphanage for a visit. I can't really articulate everything that ran through my mind as we walked through the facility. There are 70 kids at this branch, 160 total in three different places. They are bright smiling children who jumped up to sing us their favorite song. They were excruciatingly adorable. They sleep 2 to 4 to a bed even now that the ones sent in my by Uncle's sister have arrived. The bathroom facilities are ridiculously inadequate and the fridge isn't functional. Laundry is done by hand, usually by the kids doing their own clothes because there is no washer or dryer. They keep losing housing space because of inability to pay rent at so many different places but they have their own property if only they could find the money to build on it. If only I could write the check myself.
After a sobering visit we stopped at home to change gears completely and pack for our overnighter at Mkhaya Game Park. We booked huts in the middle of the park for the night. When we got there the first thing to be done was sign the "I won't sue if I die" indemnity paper since we'd be in open jeeps around unpredictable wild animals. Fun! Shannon and I dorked out as the landrovers were exactly like the cars in the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland. We took one look at the canvas pockets in front of us and said, 'Please remove all hats and glasses and place them in the pouch in front of you.' We then got very sad for ourselves at being too nerdy for words. I do have to say that Disney's Imagineers are no joke, even the fake engine sounds are authentic. The main difference was that these had no seat belts and there was a very real danger of being thrown out, whacked in the head with tree branches, or being knocked over by a rogue elephant. The coolest thing happened on the evening drive when we ran into a herd of elephants who were all play fighting and trampling through the bush. We also spotted hippo and creepy buffalo who stare at you right back. The sunset was beyond description. We got to camp later than we should have so it was dark already. The only lights marking the paths to our huts were kerosene and looked so vintage lighting the way. The huts are open air and straight out of Tarzan's Treehouse with the beds draped in mosquito net and everything. It was practically time for dinner so we headed back to the fire for more jokes and a delicious dinner.
The next morning you are woken up with coffee brought to your room at 6am. We had to be on the jeeps by 6:30am for the morning game drive. We had some really cool sightings of rhino, giraffe, elephants, wildebeest, and more. The zebras were awesome and Shannon and I were in hysterics when one of them farted the loudest fart ever heard. We had been warned that when they jump out of fear they might do so because they feed all summer, fattening themselves up for the dry season. There is so much fatty oil in them they fart when running away. I wouldn't have believed it myself if I hadn't heard it. Back at camp breakfast was delicious and eaten in the middle of a million crested guinea fowl. They look like strangely colored chickens. After that they kick you out by 10am and it's homeward bound.
I am sad we're leaving tomorrow but I am anxious to switch out of Africa mode and into Paris mode. I bought so much stuff here I'm going to have an interesting time making room for all of it. I'm glad I will have a month with none of the distractions of home to really contemplate everything I've absorbed here. There have been alot of conversations, about alot of different topics that need to be sorted through and considered. I actually miss home alot. I must be getting old. Anyway, I will write again once I'm settled in Paris. The first few days might be busy with meeting roommates, unpacking, and language placement tests so we'll see.

Stop, Think, then Think Again Condoms

The title of this blog was spotted at the Swazi/South African border where free condoms are to be had in abundance. HIV issues and all...It made me laugh.

We had the most amazing couple of days. In our last episode we were just preparing for our long drive to South Africa and Kruger Park. Kruger is a massive game park where all types of African plants, animals, etc are free to roam in the wild. Actually I doubt the plants roam...but you never know... We got up and were out of the house before 9am. Our destination was the Whiteriver area and Mercy Air, an organization that flies missionaries and other humanitarian flights all around the continent. They rent out apartments there for the equivalent of 10 bucks a night. UM and AD have friends that live on property so we were to have dinner with them and stay in the apartments. We stopped for shopping and lunch at a place called Castorbridge. It had some nicer stores and restaurants. We managed to get a book in Afrikaans for my weirdo friend Tabitha and some really good chocolate. After lunch we headed to Mercy Air and got a tour of the grounds and operation. While AD went for a walk with her friend, UM, Shan, and I rounded up pecans. We managed to fill an entire bag with fresh pecans...which, until I was shown an example, would not have known to be pecans if you'd pegged me in the face with one. They come in green fruity type skins and a shell you have to crack before getting to the butter brown pecan-y center. It was a trip tramping around in the brush and woods...I forget how much of a city girl I've turned into until I get out in nature again and then my Alaska upbringing comes rushing back. After getting nice and dirty we rested for a minute in our phat apartment before being called to dinner. Dinner was butter lettuce from her garden, fresh feta, chicken skewers and steamed fresh broccoli. It was divine. We had to be up at 3:30am to make it to the park at sunrise and I was exhausted anyway, so we went to be at 8pm. yes, you read that right. I haven't been to bed after 10pm since I left home.

We still got a full nights sleep and I wandered around the field trying to see the Southern Cross while waiting for everyone else to be ready. The stars down here are amazing, it's like being on a completely different planet as none of the constellations look familiar. Finally we get on the road at 10 after 5am and we're the 3rd car in line at the gate when it opens at 6am. The sunrise was fantastic and the whole park glowed in the light. We had our first sighting of some impala and then a lone hyena. I didn't know what to expect so I didn't expect much. We were in the park for a total of 11 hours and there are too many words to describe the experience. Running into the 'big five' or any of the animals is such a strange combination of dumb luck and chance considering you're not allowed out of your vehicle except at certain guarded campsites. In order to get great pictures they have to be close...so it's really a gamble. My Aunt has been complaining that she never sees the big cats when she goes and Shannon is relatively unlucky with celebrity sitings so I hoped that my good luck would counteract both of theirs. When we stopped for lunch we left AD alone for 5 minutes and in that time she saved our stuff from a rogue monkey but got a bad scratch in the process. i told her that in order to see the cats that life was making her pay the price. LITERALLY 5 minutes after we pull out of the campsite we and one other car spot a leopard with its cub on the side of the road waiting to cross. All of us freaked out and then I laughed and laughed at how correct I had been. If she hadn't gotten that monkey scratch which delayed us we would never have seen the leopard. There were a ton of other experiences but for me, none can ever top the first sighting of an elephant in the wild. It lumbered through the bush and across the road to join its friend. We turned the car engine off and watched them pull up bushes and shrubs for fun. Later that day we got caught in a heard of adult and baby elephants that were scattered behind and in front of us all on the road and beside. It was beyond description. Other sitings were giraffe, monkeys, baboons, various deer-type creatures, black and white rhino, hippos, crocodiles, wildebeest, warthog, and so many more. The drive home seemed to take alot less time and we all snoozed our way through a quick dinner of leftovers before passing out from a very long 15 hours in the car.

Today we had nothing on the official agenda I made up so after a frustrating call to Orbitz to try and fix a ticket issue we had breakfast. Breakfast ended up lasting for about 5 hours because we got on some rather serious and inflammatory topics. There is alot of history between my dad's family and my mom and all the things surrounding their divorce. We got to correct some of the misnomers and learn quite a few things about ourselves and our family. It was a really good talk and I had a really big personal breakthrough of my own about my dad. Finally we shutup long enough to get ready and head out for the last bit of shopping we hadn't finished. We stopped by the famous candle factory here in Swaziland and got some really cool shaped candles after watching how they were done by the workers. Batiks are also a big thing to buy here. Those are a kind of textile where they put wax on areas not to be dyed, then the material is dipped in color, the wax is removed in hot water, then put back on in other places, then dipped in a new color...at the end of the process you have a really cool wall hanging, tablecloth, etc. The quality of the artwork here is phenomenal and I've been really restraining myself by reminding myself whatever I do buy needs to be carted around Paris for the next month. Afterwards we ate dinner and UM pulled out the home video collection. Shannon and I laughed until we cried at our Dad's 80s bouffant and porn-stache.

Tomorrow we have church in the morning then we're going to go somewhere nearby to braai, or have a braai...not sure which. It basically means BBQ.

Pictures: Giraffe, leopard, rhino, baboon, Elephants as seen from the car for perspective, African sunrise